What Happens to Nengajo in a Year of Mourning?

One of the most distinctive corners of nengajo etiquette concerns mourning. When a death occurs in a Japanese household, custom holds that the household refrains from New Year's celebrations — including celebratory cards — for the season. This state is called mochū (喪中), and it reshapes the card exchange in both directions.

The mochū hagaki: announcing the abstention

A household in mourning does not simply skip sending cards and leave correspondents guessing. Instead, it sends a mochū hagaki — a mourning postcard — in advance, typically in November or early December, before recipients would prepare their own nengajo. The card is restrained in design, and its message is essentially: because our family is in mourning, we will refrain from New Year's greetings this year. It often names the family member who died and thanks the recipient for their kindness during the year.

The function is practical courtesy: it tells everyone on the household's list not to send a celebratory card, sparing both sides an awkward exchange. The Nippon.com overview of nengajo customs covers how this convention fits into the broader card season.

What to do if you receive a mochū hagaki

Remove that household from your nengajo list for the year — that is the whole point of the notice. If you want to acknowledge them anyway, the accepted vehicle is the kanchū mimai, a subdued midwinter greeting sent after matsu no uchi (the opening days of January) rather than at New Year's. It expresses sympathy and seasonal good wishes without the celebratory register. Our timing guide explains the kanchū mimai window.

If you learn of a death only after mailing your card, a short note of apology and condolence is the customary repair; no one treats an innocently sent card as an offense.

What happens to cards already bought: the exchange policy

Here the custom meets official policy. Households often buy their official New Year's postcards well before the season, so a death in November can leave a family holding dozens of prepaid cards they now cannot use. Japan Post addresses exactly this situation: under its policy on exchanging unused New Year's postcards, unused nengajo held by a family that has entered mourning can be exchanged for ordinary stamps or postcards free of the usual exchange fee. The same official page also covers the general rules for exchanging mis-written or spoiled postal stock, which normally carries a small per-item fee — mourning is the notable free exception.

Practical points from the policy worth knowing:

• The exchange is handled at post office counters in Japan.
• The free mourning exchange applies to that season's unused New Year's postcards; check the official page for the current window and any documentation expectations.
• Ordinary mistakes — a botched address, a misprint — fall under the standard exchange rules on the same page, not the free mourning provision.

Why this etiquette exists

The mourning conventions make sense once you see the nengajo as a celebration rather than a mere hello: one does not congratulate a grieving family on the new year. The card system, with its formal notices and its official exchange policy, is built to let households step out of the celebration gracefully and step back in the following year. For the celebratory side of the custom, start with what a nengajo is.